The Semi-Barbaric Princess

One of my favorite short stories is The Lady or the Tiger? by Frank Stockton. It's more than just a story... it's a thought experiment on human nature, lol!! Let me summarize:

Once upon a time, a princess and some random guy fell in love. Her father, the king, didn't like this love affair, so he decided to put the guy in an arena with two doors. The guy had to pick one of the two and accept whatever was behind it. Behind one door was a vicious tiger that would maul the guy instantly. The other door had a lady behind it -- not the princess, but a different lady -- and the guy would have to marry this lady and live with her forever, should he pick that door. So either way, his relationship with the princess was about to end.

The guy was pretty scared because he had a 50% chance of dying, but the princess told him not to worry. She had inside knowledge of which door was which. So when the guy was in the arena, he looked up to the stands where the princess sat. She caught his eye and made a small gesture, letting him know which door he should open.

But that's where the story ends! lol

We are left to wonder whether the princess chose that her lover should die or marry another lady. Very tricky.

That's what the situation in Zimbabwe reminds me of right now. It's like Mugabe is the princess and the country of Zimbabwe is the guy she's in love with. Except instead of a love affair, there's been three decades of violent and oppressive rule... but for the sake of the analogy, let's call that a love affair.

Now that power-sharing agreements have been reached between the MDC and Zanu-PF, Mugabe is left in a similar position as the princess: his love affair is ending against his will. But he still has some cards left to play. Will he help Zimbabwe open door number one, where peace and prosperity and long life await? Or will he -- out of his own selfishness and pride -- lead them to open door number two, where there's nothing but violence, poverty, cholera, death, destruction, inflation, etc? Does he want Zimbabwe to survive even if he will not be in charge of everything?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Aid Workers in Sudan: WATCH YO BACKZ

So rumor has it (and by "rumor" I mean "Reuters" lol) that the International Criminal Court is fixing to issue an arrest warrant for the president of Sudan, Mr. Omar al-Bashir himself!! They never issue warrants for sitting heads-of-state, so this is kind of wild.

Why the warrant? Because the UN thinks al-Bashir commited acts of genocide, killing about 300,000 people and displacing a solid 2.5 million. But down in Khartoum, they say it's NOT genocide, just regular old killing -- and besides, it's only been a measley 10,000 deaths! Which is hardly anything, when you look at it from just the right nihilistic viewpoint lol.

And when the Sudanese envoy to the UN got the news of the new ICC warrant, he said, "Lalalala I can't hear you! What are you saying? HAHA I can't hear anything! Lalalala!!"
(I'm paraphrasing lol)

Anyway, it's kind of bad news to be a UN worker or humanitarian aid-type person in Sudan right now. I mean, things are always a little dicey. But especially now, because the warrant might spark violent protests, or even perhaps some violent retaliation orchestrated by the government. Who knows!

Sometimes these ICC warrants stir up trouble. Their number one most wanted guy is Uganda's Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, who has been attacking northern Uganda (and parts of the DR Congo and southern Sudan) for nearly two decades. He has abducted something like 30,000 kids and turned them into child soldiers and sex slaves... and his stated goal is taking over Uganda and ruling the country according to the Ten Commandments. (Some commandments more than others, I suppose.) Well, Kony and the Ugandan government were sitting down for peace talks. But when the ICC issued their warrant, it kind of choked things up. Kony has said he won't reach a peaceful agreement while the warrant is still out on him. The Ugandan government doesn't have much control over the ICC, so they are a little stuck.

So the ICC is kind of a gray area. A little good, a little bad. Just like people. Just like life.

Or did I just blow your mind??